I’ve been telling Kalamity that I would post a blog this week and I am finally getting around to it.
Tonight I am going to blog about something that frustrates me more than anything, and it’s the so called “Mommy Wars”. I hate that term. They are hard to escape and even the strongest mom can get sucked in. Oh, and before you start, these are my opinions. If you don’t like them, get off my blog. You don’t have to be here.
Let me start off by saying this, I’ve not always had a strong desire to be a mom. When I was 18, it was the farthest thing from my mind. I was focused on college and becoming a successful woman. I started off wanting to be a doctor, which led me down the path to the career that I have now and love very much, Medical Lab Science. Long story short, I knew I would have kids eventually, just didn’t know when. I was young, enjoying life, and making a future for myself.
Shortly after meeting The Hubs and falling madly in love, we got engaged. It was then my desire to have a baby grew and I couldn’t wait to have a family with him. A year after we married, I finished my Medical Lab Internship, we decided it was time to start trying for a baby. After 3 long years later and a tough journey through infertility (a story I may blog later), we have a beautiful baby boy.
Anyways, here is what I want to get to. There are so many decisions when it comes to parenting. Breastfeeding vs Formula feed. Vaccinate vs. No vaccination. Cry it out. Co-sleeping. Baby wearing. Cloth diaper vs. disposal. Home birth vs hospital. Natural vs. medicated. Stay at home mom vs working mom. You get the picture. I read the books, did the research. The internet is a marvelous tool at our fingertips, but it can also be a horrible place. I often found blogs and message boards of women who would attack other women for going against what was their opinion for “right”. They even made me doubt my abilities to be a mother.
I thought I was prepared for when Little Bit was born. Like I said before, I had read the books. My house was cleaned, nursery was done, bags packed. It seemed like all was ready for baby boy. I was all smiles in the picture above, at 40 weeks, about to head to the hospital to meet my baby for the first time. But what I quickly found out how unpredictable motherhood could be. I had to have an induction due to gestational diabetes. An epidural. I wanted to breastfeed Little Bit until he was a year old. Well, my supply ran dry at 4 months and we had to switch to formula and cereal. I wanted him to be sleeping through the night in his crib at 8 weeks so it would be easier for us going back to work. He slept in his swing until he was 5 months old. We vaccinate (very big supporter). We used the cry it out method. Our son now puts himself to sleep at 7:30pm and sleeps through the night and self soothes at 7 months. I work full time and Aiden goes to daycare. I enjoy working (gasp, I know!). I miss him like crazy during the day, but it melts my heart when I go to pick him up and he drops everything and just smiles at me. Every day I am making new decisions that are best for my child.
So, I guess my point is that it makes me kind of disappointed in the way that women judge other women for the way they parent. Is the child healthy? Is the child happy? Is the child loved? Then leave it alone. Being a mom is a 24/7/365 job that never goes away, whether you are a stay at home mom or a working mom. Yes, I work 8-9 hours a day, then have to come home and be a mom and take care of a household despite being exhausted. That doesn’t make me superior to any other moms, it’s my choice. And you know what? I would not trade it for anything in the world. Being a mom is a blessing, a privilege. I get to love on this baby, watch him grow, make sure his needs are met. Maybe it’s because I fought so hard to be a mom, I cried hours upon hours of tears after doctors told me it may not be possible to have children. Then, before I even realized what was happening, I had this ball of love in my arms and I was never going to let go. In 20 years when my child is grown, will it matter if he went to daycare or was formula fed? No. He will know the love I have for him, and know that every choice I made, was to make his life the best he could ever have.
I hope you enjoyed the pictures of my little and I. I heart my photographer so much! Until next time. Love to all.
~ Belle Starr