Down at a certain 2 year college in Oklahoma, they have this thing they call a Possum Hunt. At one time, the Possum Hunt was supposedly a real event the college put on for the Aggies. The students would load up and go catch them some Possums and supposedly bring them back to the college and the ones that brought back the most… Yea I don’t know what they got. More than likely the right to be called Possum King or Queen?? I tried to google the actual event and found no such event but I’m sure if I wanted to go dig through some newspaper articles from way back, I could find a reference. So like most things that involve underage-drinking-college-students-running-around-on-dirt-roads-in-the-dark, the college soon realized their mistake and no longer held the event. That didn’t stop the students from having their own opossum hunts though. The sophomores and super sophomores (3 year student at a 2 year college) kept the tradition going. This particular college is out in the middle of nowhere. The biggest town you could go to was well over a half hour away if you didn’t want to eat cafeteria food or Simple Simons. With so little to do and so many kids from all over the place, any reason to do something to get you out of your dorm room was alright by anyone, except the Professors.
So it was Amy’s first semester at the college and she had just started hanging out with Joe. Amy, was a small town Oklahoma girl working at the local store on the weekends to help pay for college and car, while Joe was a hot-headed steer jock raised with a silver spoon in his mouth from Mississippi. Joe had volunteered to let his “team” use his midnight-blue-four-door-diesel-Chevy for the hunt that night. His “team” included Amy, Mitchell from New Mexico, a guy they called Bubba from Florida, a couple of other Ag guys, and a few giggly college girls that was sweet talked into coming by Mitchell although Amy doubted it took much. It was everyone’s first time except for Mitchell to go on a possum hunt.
Somehow, someone had manage to donate a recliner to the cause. They strapped it down in the back with the ice chest of beverage since they were bound to get thirsty on those back roads possum hunting and all. All the teams met up at the college. Ready. Set. Go.
Music blaring Dierks Bentley, Joe driving, Amy riding shotgun, everyone else was either in the back seat or the back of the truck making use of the cooler. Bear was sitting in the recliner. Bear was a pretty big ol’ boy. He started bouncin’ up and down which caused Joe’s short fuse to get shorter. Thankfully Mitchell kept them mostly in check. It had rained the previous night so it made the dirt roads a little more excitin’ to drive down. They passed one of the other teams and made a few ruts in a field when they turned around but so far the evening was uneventful until they turned onto a road where the water in the ditches had started to cover the road. That’s when Joe saw his opportunity to have a little fun and pay Bear back for his bouncin’ earlier.
Rompin’ on the pedal, he took off fishtailin’ and splashin’ water everywhere. Bear started hollering, but that just seemed to get Joe more in the spirit of his redneck fun which in turn caused more hollering until the he swerved off the road and got stuck. Everyone bailed to check out the problem and give their advice on how to get it out. No one could get out on the passenger side of the truck. Water was up above the exhaust pipe so he couldn’t shut off the truck even if he wanted to without sucking up water in the exhaust. Not good. It just so happened, they had no idea what road they were on or where the heck they were at. Thankfully, not twenty minutes later, one of the other teams showed up. Like most country boys, the opportunity to use the truck for something as manly as pulling out another truck gets the testosterone flowing. This guy drove a Dodge, so he couldn’t wait to prove the age-old mines-better-than-yours theory. He hooked up to the front and tried to pull him out. Didn’t budge. Sun was going down.
A little bit later, someone had manage to get ahold of the other team and they were on their way. This guy had a Ford so he knew he could definitely pull him out. Meanwhile one of the team members had called someone who worked on the college farm just in case there was any way for them to bring a tractor out. The answer was a definite no. Joe was getting pretty steamed. The Ford showed up and tried to pull him out from the back and ended up throwing gravel. Somebody got the idea to hook both the Ford and the Dodge up to each end like a tug-o-war and see if it would knock him loose. Joe pretty much lost it after that. A fight ensued. Amy had to calm Joe down. The guy in the Ford left. He was having none of this drama.
Joe was having a nervous break down. His truck was stuck. It was dark outside. They were lost. The giggly college girls were drunk. It wasn’t pretty. Then it dawned on Amy. Joe has OnStar and he was subscribed to it, so he could use it to get a tow truck. Amy told Joe of her epiphany, and Joe punched the button. A lady answered and asked what he needed and Joe told her he needed a tow truck brought out to where he is located which she was able to tell him. Even though the doors were shut, everyone was pretty loud so she asked if she needed to have the cops brought out there as well in which she was told a big fat NO!!!
While waiting for the tow truck, the ice cooler was cleaned out and the empty cans disappeared along with the Dodge and the giggly college girls. Amy was relieved. Joe had calmed down. Until the tow truck showed up.
The tow truck pulled up and lined up from the back, hooked the pretty midnight blue truck up and started to winch it forward… Something at the front started making noises… Joe started throwing a fit waving his arms in the air cursing a blue streak. It was too late. The pretty bumper on the front had already started bending. When the tow truck was done, Joe had a few scratches from branches and a bent-all-to-hell front bumper. He was pissed. He had to strap the bumper on the passenger side down before he could drive it home that night. They didn’t make it back until after midnight. Joe had to wait a couple of days but he was able to get a new bumper on there pretty quick. Needless to say Joe never wanted to hunt for possums again.