Bright Blossoms Inc. lost money in stock this week after an audit was conducted on their account. It seems that a large sum of money was being sent to an off shore account called CCB. After some investigating it was determined to be Candy Cane Bank. The Bureau contacted CCB’s President Mr. Claus to find out who the money was being transferred to. The usually jolly fellow wasn’t too happy to hear that his bank was going to make news since he likes to keep a mystique façade. With Claus’s usual giving nature, they found out that it was Mr. Frank Freeze. We tried to contact Mr. Freeze but we were told by his assistant Mr. Niño that he was not available for comment.

Speculations have many to believe that Bright Blossoms has been paying Mr. Freeze off by letting consumers enjoy a few days of nice weather and then hitting them with freezing temperatures destined to kill the beautiful flowers they just planted. Bright Blossoms would then profit again off the replacement plants they would purchase.

Everyone thought Mr. Freeze was done with his wintery runs until next winter. Consumers enjoyed their lovely weekend purchasing annuals and perenials, but soon realized it was all in vain. The nice eighty degree weather packed its bags before you could say Bob’s your Uncle and Mr. Freeze showed up in the form of a storm. He plans on staying a couple of nights. We are still trying to locate exactly where he is staying.

Betty Buford from Shamrock said that she loved the new color petunias that Bright Blossoms were distributing at the local stores and couldn’t believe they would do this. She has been buying from them since she was knee high to a duck. We also learned Betty wasn’t very tall. Eugene Jankins from Liberty said he just potted up all the geraniums he had bought. He wasn’t much too happy that he was going to have to store all 27 pots in his house for the next week. He says next year, he will wait til June. Mr. Freeze wouldn’t dare visit then. We sure hope he’s right.

Bright Blossoms has not commented on the issue. We are sure they will be profiting off of many after the latest weather coming into Oklahoma. Better grab some blankets Oklahoma. Mr. Freeze isn’t done yet. Old Man Winter did say this was not his style and is very disappointed in Mr. Freeze’s scandalous behavior. What can you expect of his immature ways of showing up one day to ruin everything and leaving the next?

Next week, we will talk with the local dogs about their recent increase in more bones being supplied by Sunny Acres… We think there may be a connection to ruined flower beds and more holes than normal in the yard.

 

This is your full-of-bull newscaster saying, “I hope you wore boots, because it’s getting deep in here.”

Stay warm Oklahoma!!!

~Kalamity

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