I brought the witness in for questioning at 9:30 p.m. to give a statement of the crime he had seen committed. He was a well dressed fellow. 6′ 3″ Blonde Hair, Blue Eyes. Not that I booked him. I’m a cop. I should know these things. Working the night shift usually brought in plenty of wackos but this guy seemed normal. Clean. I lead him over to my desk to take his statement.

He said it happened when he was eating his dinner. It explained his three-piece suit.

“So when did this happen? ”

“About an hour ago. ” He just kept shaking his head.

“Really? Why didn’t you just call 911?”

“Cause the villain was within earshot so I couldn’t let her see me calling you.” Villain was spat at me. I thought I was back in a 50’s movie or something and would see the treacherous evil come through the door or maybe Cruella herself.


“Yes, she.” The man just seemed to become more violent upon hearing about the opposite sex so I offered to get him a water.

I handed him the water and asked. “So what did this she look like?”

He took a long pull of his water nearly downing the whole thing. Must have been some dame. Ha! 50’s must be where I was for the night. “She was about 5’2″.  Brown curly hair past her shoulders. She had brown eyes and a tattoo peeking out of her cleavage on her left side. I think it was a bunny. ”

I just looked at him for a second. “Sounds like you got pretty close to her.”

“Well, I was sitting at the same table.”


“Yea. We were at Frankie’s on a date. Worst blind date ever.”

“The steakhouse on Main?”

“Yea. That’s the one.” I don’t know what she could have possibly done to commit such a crime to make this man so distraught.

“So what did she do?”

“She was dipping her steak in KETCHUP.”




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