It was the hardest thing I had to do. Since I had left at the age of 18, HOME has been considered where my heart was. I would always call Mom and Dad’s home, but I knew I could end up living in another state and be happy as long as I loved doing what I was doing or loved whoever I was with. I saw myself as a potted plant being transplanted and setting up roots and adapting to my environment. I love traveling so as long as I got to come back and see Mom and Dad occasionally, I was doing good.
Still waters run the deepest…
I ended up working where I was going to school and loving what I did. It was unique. It was interesting and never dull. I loved it but something was missing. Like most of everyone, I wanted to find that person who would be a great companion, friend, partner, spouse.
In 2008, I was standing at one crossroads. I can see myself packing up my mental bags and stepping onto that chimerical gravel road. I had made up my mind. It just took a spark of something for me to get my feet moving down it. The harder path. The road less traveled. To live in one place, break up with the comfortable but pain in the ass that I was with, and start seeing or should I say talking to someone who lived a couple of hours away.
Pros and Cons
I laugh at the mention of this because a friend of mine brought up his own sort of list this weekend. I think we all make these out from time to time if not in our head. Putting them to pen and paper can really show us what paths to take and sometimes the best thing to do is to wad that list up and give it the finger. Life isn’t perfect and I have learned to love those imperfections.
Two years later would bring an even harder decision. We had made it through the hard struggles. The long distance didn’t cloud over the relationship we had built. We both would come running when there was a problem that needed fixing. We had fallen for one another, but I had also fallen for the job I had. I could see myself working there forever. So I made a list of everything.
|Pros of Marrying him||Cons||Pros of Staying||Cons of Staying|
|I love him.||He hates my dog.||Love my Job||Faraway from family|
|He is a Christian.||How well do I know him?? Really…||Good benefits||All friends will leave when they graduate|
|Loves to fish and hunt||Won’t ever move from his hometown.||Awesome Boss and people I work with||No house… yet|
|We have a great time together and have a lot in common in general.||Lives with his parents||Work with Animals||Deal with College kids forever|
|Family loves him.||Not very independent||Could possibly be set for life on going to football games of my Favorite College Team||Traffic on Saturdays during the fall|
|Loves football||Loves OU football||Future Promotion offered if I stay||Boring Seminars|
|I like his family.||Not a country boy, doesn’t even own a pair of boots||Great places nearby like Hobby Lobby, and the lake for walking||Being grumpy from being lonely all the time|
|Friends like him.||Not chatty Cathy on the phone|
|Has a great job with great benefits||Drinks a little too much beer when we are out…|
Looking at this now after 3 years have past, it looks completely stupid. A bunch has changed. I still think I left behind the best job I ever had but I wouldn’t change a thing. The moment that I laid those mental suitcases down next to imaginary mailbox that had my new address on it, I had found home. I just didn’t know it yet. I never doubted my relationship with him. The question lie in what waited as a career.
Leap of Faith
This list is just a bunch of CRAP now. Crap crap crap. The Pros are good on his side, but the cons were just dramatic details that I overexaggerated on. Sure he still hates my dog and loves OU, but he doesn’t kick my dog and keeps the smack talking to a minimum. He’s turned into quite the chatty husband and I still find myself shocked at him over little things. We have grown into this relationship. I took a big leap of Faith by leaving what I enjoyed and put roots into the ground instead of pots. One of the best decisions I have ever made. We have a nice home and I have a good job I enjoy. We still have challenges but we tackle those together. It’s always a group effort.
Good soil, good amount of sunlight, it rains when it needs to and a little when it doesn’t and just enough fertilizer.